I've gone off telly just lately. Ever since I didn't get past the audition stage of Britain's Got Talent with my performing Platypus, and my suggestion for a new series called Strictly Come Drinking was met with rejection.
To be truthful I'd already had enough of the dramatic 20 minute wait to see if Fred and Freda are going to be coming back next week, or if they were going home, in one of the plethora of time filling reality programmes that saturate our screens these days.
I needed to watch some action and I'm not talking about the type you get on a bear skin rug. I needed football - it seems like an eternity since Adlene skidded knees first towards the North Bank after condemning Sunderland to defeat.
The first thing I noticed about the World Cup was the Vuvuzelas. My immediate hopes that the noise was only going to be heard when the host nation were in action were quickly dashed.
Memories came flooding back of a one day cricket international when I found myself sat next to someone blowing a smaller version although still as noisy. When I asked the guy where he had got it from, he enthusiastically inquired if I was off to buy one and give him some support. He seemed a little bemused and disappointed when I told him that I wanted to send the bloke flogging them to a place where the only horn blowing is by Gabriel.
For one reason or another, I've only watched the games on ITV from the actual kick-off and have gone to do some weeding during the half-time break. BBC has been good though. Well, Mick is on there. Loved the way he described the Serbian goalkeeper as a 'tart'.
Apart from the noise, the thing that has left a lasting impression with me most has been the cheating. With so many cameras trained on them, surely the players must realise they are going to get caught out. Some of it is so blatant that it's laughable.
The highlights? The enthusiasm of the home supporters (apart from the Vuvuzelas). Adlene's brief appearance against England (he was the best player on the park). The ball (how many excuses can it be at the heart of?).
Ah well, must go now. Have to walk the Platypus before the game starts.
