Life has been somewhat traumatic for our kitman Trev during the past 24 hours.
Now, as anyone who knows him will confirm, life is always a trauma for Trev when he is his normal self. But when he’s loved up, well it’s an entirely different matter!
Trev’s long suffering fellow looker after of the kits, Steve (Mort) Morton, took time out from his male modelling duties to tell me about the latest disaster for the man who has a Phd Honours degree in moaning.
Determined to let his loved one back in Blighty know that she is constantly in his thoughts, Trev hit upon the idea of putting the photograph of her, that he has brought with him, on a post and taking a picture of that. The problem came when he adjusted the picture’s position on the post, just outside the hotel entrance, which happened to be hollow.
Yep, you guessed it. The picture disappeared down the hole in the middle. If Trev had been sentenced to death by a thousand cuts I doubt if he could have looked more horrified. What worried me was Mort who lay on his back shaking with laughter but making no sound. Thankfully, he managed to get some air in just as he started to go red in the face.
So now the problem was of how to retrieve the picture because there was no way that our afflicted Romeo was going to leave it. So he and Mort used a little brute force to loosen the offending post and remove it before the lovelorn Trev was reunited with the picture of his sweetheart (which comes in a small frame with an embossed teddy bear). I hasten to add that the post was quickly replaced with no damage to property whatsoever.
Shortly afterwards, Trev was seen jogging on the far side of the training pitches. I use the word jogging but, in truth, most people on a gentle Sunday afternoon stroll would have passed him. Mort informed me that his partner was on a fitness campaign to lose some weight so he would look even more attractive to his lady.
Elsewhere, several members of the playing squad took a trip to the cinema on Wednesday evening with half watching the new Spiderman film and the rest taking in Ice Age 4. Kev Foley was with the Spiderman party and he explained the absence of Sylvan Ebanks-Blake.
"He’s banned,” grinned the defender who added: “Sylvan has previous for being too noisy when we go to watch a film. He’s always rustling sweet papers and he has a habit of blowing bubbles in his orange drink with his straw. So we left him at the hotel to play.”
Meanwhile, I got cajoled into driving four of the lads to the local supermarket which is a couple of miles down the road. Frank Nouble, Danny Batth, David Davis and Adam Hammill were all looking to stock up their supplies in their rooms (all healthy stuff, honest Dales). Danny entertained us on the short trip with some of his impressions which prompted David to say: “Alistair McGowan’s got nothing on you Batts!”